Women who had "tuckshop-lady arms" didn't get a look in. It was another drunken wild night in Thailand, and I got it in my recently divorced head that the only way to prove, "I still had it," was to get him into bed. The transition was not deliberate but it was pronounced. On a side note, I read in a magazine once a really long time ago that men see women 10 pounds thinner than the women see themselves. Women should embrace their sexuality, especially if their sex lives were non-existent in their marriage. My sexuality was in a Snow White-sleep, from which I had neither the courage nor the desire to wake' But today, in a society where 42 per cent of marriages end, leaving thousands of women in their 40s like me, bruised and lonely, there is a belief that middle-aged women can and should find new love. I hadn't even owned a computer when I'd got married and had only ever heard of online dating through a friend from school who had tried it and had a few salacious experiences he liked to recount over a beer. In my opinion, it's okay to like the person, and it's okay to be in a relationship with him, but you need to know where to draw the line. There's something else women should about having sex after divorce. A graphic designer and mother of two, she'd told me, flirtingly, before we met, "It's rather large — though not obvious — and very tasteful. After a few weeks of hooking up between her gym classes and crying myself to sleep when I got home, I broke it off. Having lost my moral scruples, I saw no reason to stop unless someone amazing came along.