Do small things as well: I believe that you and your husband could benefit from open discussions about sex, where you tell him how much you used to love your sex life, specifically what you used to enjoy, and what you fantasize about doing now. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. Chris says he loves Suzan but he worries about not being able to please her sexually. Rather than feeling insulted or put off, you should accept this as a gift of love. Those who have been through sexual abuse or who have seen disturbing representations of sexual intercourse through films, media, and pornography may feel disinterested in sex. You can either hold out because you're angry, or break free of the Catch and be loving. He says "it gets satisfied through masturbation. Marital satisfaction usually has a nice rebirth between toddler and teen years. But the truth is these may not just be excuses. He says sex has simply never been a high priority for him. Email On your wedding day you assume you'll have a long future together filled with love, intimacy, maybe kids, and of course, sex. Like complaining about the sex you do have, or criticizing his "vanilla" tastes. All I can say is that if you want to improve your sex life and your wife needs to feel emotionally close to you as a prerequisite, doing the things that bring you closer to her is the only way you are going to get there. But he hasn't entirely lost his sex drive. Sheila is the author of seven books, including 31 Days to Great Sex , a day challenge for couples to work through that can help reignite that spark by prompting conversations, fun, and adventure! He no longer even wants it weekly.