But, being honest with each other involves hearing things that are going to upset you and dealing with them in a calm and constructive manner see talk about problems. I was surprised at first; I hadn't picked it up at all. Peter was your typical 'blokey tradie', and while he was chivalrous in that he always paid for our meals and always looked out for me, driving me to parties and picking me up to make sure I was safe, he was never very affectionate and our love making was always short and to the point. When I was in a similar position, I realised that we were both responsible for the past, and that the future of our marriage was a joint project too. Of course you were shocked and devastated - so was I when a similar thing happened to me - but beware of taking the moral high ground. Send us an email at expertadvice. If it had, you would not feel the need to check her mobile, she would not feel compelled to remind her old boyfriend of their liaison, and you would not suspect her of being disingenuous when she tries to let you know how she is feeling. The last time we did have sex I took Cialis and I thought it worked. It is easy to let a past betrayal cloud your judgment about what is going on now. Thankfully, my wife has recovered from her depression and our marriage is better than ever. Although I try not to refer to the affair, not a day goes by when I don't feel a sense of grief and hurt well up inside me; it really is like a bereavement. But I am trying to find a reason why your wife seems unwilling to try to overcome the problem. On at least one occasion, when I was overseas, they had sex. Time does heal, and I can genuinely say that the wounds have pretty much gone.