In fact, numerous studies have shown that lack of sex corresponds directly with marital instability and thoughts of leaving a relationship. The answers can range from once a week to once a month! Advertisement It's probably not too surprising that the frequency with which people have sex drops off as they age. As long as both partners in a relationship are open about their feelings and physical needs and both are satisfied with the frequency and quality of their sexuality, the couple can not only survive, but thrive. That said, non-genital touch, massage, hugs, holding, talking and emotional intimacy are every bit as effective as sex in terms of developing closeness and relationship trust. Here are some of their findings: Just make sure that if you both say yes, you really mean to say yes. One interesting study actually found out that happiness is related to sex. Beyond therapy, there are many great books about sex and marriage you and your spouse could read together to get ideas. While sex may be the way couples typically express their love and desire for each other, a lack of sex doesn't necessarily mean that you are headed for a break-up, though it is something that you should get a handle on. They just come without any fireworks at the end. Many researchers suggest to simply schedule it in. And in a third study, it was reported that out of the 16, adults interviewed, the older participants were having sex about 2 to 3 times per month, while younger participants said they were having sex about once a week. Half the couples were instructed to double their weekly frequency; the other half were given no such instructions. However, a lack of sex does not mean your marriage is in trouble, according to Schnarch.