It wasn't necessarily uncommon for her to be drunk and wake me up begging for sex, well at that point it was down to once or twice a month if I was lucky so I didn't think anything about her timing so I went with it. You may feel that she's not doing this for you, but you can't change her and if you don't want to divorce then you don't have many other options for what else you can do. Women who are apprehensive about sex, or averse to it, are also more likely to drink. But either way she had to initiate everything with them. Drink allows her to overcome her anxiety and respond in a more relaxed and sexual way. It's got to the point that I just stopped trying, I mean, married or not who likes being shot down right? If your girlfriend has a large glass of wine for each pint of beer you drink, she will be taking in roughly the same amount of alcohol. So this means that I've been relying on her to initiate everything, and this is where I should have seen the pattern sooner. She even said that she would understand if I cheated on her, it would hurt, but she would understand. Since our anniversary there have been only two times that she's said anything about wanting to have sex. It would be unfair to keep asking her to put herself through this. So that time in March? Women are generally smaller than men, but — compared with a man of the same body size — a woman will become intoxicated more quickly with the same amount of alcohol. When our daughter was conceived I was working a lot, and she would go to the bar with her co-workers almost nightly. This is because the female body has more fat, which retains alcohol, and less water, which dilutes it. To back up again, when we were first dating either one of us would initiate, and generally we would have sex. Yes you do have the right to have your needs met, but so does she.